Of Life and Crack
by Chibi Mini Moon
Summary: What happens, when you put Italy, Prussia, and Germany live in the same house? And mess with the ages? CRACK


**I feel like doing crack. So, bewaaare.**

**I am not accountable for any brain loss through this fiction. **

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><p><em>ring, ring, ring!<em>

Germany groaned and stared at his IPhone. Italy.

"Ja, what is it Italy?" Germany asked.

"GERMANY! PRUSSIA ATE MY CEREAL!" Italy wailed on the other line.

"NO I DIDN'T!" a voice yelled. Most likely Prussia.

"YAS YOU DID!"

"NUH UH!"

"YAH HUH!"

Smashing and crashing was heard in the background. Also Italy's cries.

Germany massaged his forehead. "I'll pick up some more cereal on my way home, alright?"

"O-Okay." Italy sniffed.

"And tell Prussia he's not allowed to use the car He's suppose to watch you."

"WHAT? AWE HELL NO!" Prussia cried. He had his head pressed against the other side of the phone. He snatched the phone from Italy. "I'M GOING CLUBBING WITH MY BFFFF's AND YOUR NOT STOPPING ME!"

_BEEP._

Germany looked at the phone and shook his head. He then went back to his work.

_Ring, ring, ring!_

Germany groaned-again.

"Hello?"

"GERMAAANYYYYYY! PRUSSIA LOCKED ME IN THE HALL CLOSET!" Italy cried.

"Alright. Call Japan. He'll let you out."

"I DID! HE'S BUSY RIGHT NOW!" Italy sobbed.

Germany pinched his bridge of his nose. "I'll call the home phone." (oh yas. Italy has his own cellphone xD)

_beep._

_ring, ring, ring!_

"Hello?" Prussia answered

"Prussia. Let Italy out of the closet. Now." Germany gritted his teeth.

"What? Italy has to let himself 'out of the closet' only homosexuals can change who they are-"

"OPEN THE DAMN CLOSET DOOR!"

"BUT HE'S A LITTLE TURD!"

"OPEN THE DAMN DOOR. Do I need to come home? I don't think you want me to come home."

"...Ya know something?" Prussia opened the closet door. Italy ran out praising in italian.

"Vhat?"

"We need caller ID."

"Why?"

"So I wouldn't answer the phone when you call, damn it!"

_BEEP!_

"Prussia is Prussia." Germany sighed. He went back to his work.

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><p>"Italy, you're a nark." Prussia said.<p>

"I AM NOT!" Italy cried.

"Nark, nark, nark, nark!" Prussia made a beak with his hand to cover his nose and mouth, and 'narked' in Italy's face.

"STOP IT!" Italy ran away crying.

Prussia laughed manically.

_Ding, Dong!_

Prussia ran to the door and opened it.

"Amigo!" Spain said. He gave Prussia a 'bro-hug'.

"Bonjour!" France said. He gave a 'pedo-hug'.

"C'mon! let's go!" Prussia shoved them out the door.

"Waait! who's going to take care of me?" Italy ran to Prussia before he closed the door.

"You can take care of yourself." Prussia took two steps out the door. "Unless you can."

"I-I can!" Italy pouted.

"Pfft. Suuurre. The underground people like to eat people who are 11 years of age."

"I'm eleven 1/2!"

"Dun'matter. They'll tear you to pieces, and then take you underground, and turn you into underground people."

"NOOO!" Italy cried.

"And do you want to know what an underground people looks like?" Prussia pointed to across the street. "Mr. Russia."

Spain and France walked back to him and listened to his story. They decided they'd play along.

"Oh si!" Spain nodded. "He keeps bombs in his basement" (TRUE FACT)

"And his victims." France grinned creepily.

Italy looked horrified.

"Have fun by yourself!" Prussia waved and slammed the door.

"I feel kind of bad, amigo." Spain said.

"I do too." France agreed.

"WHAT?" Prussia yelled. "Hell no are you guys going wusscakes on me!"

"Maybe we should call someone to watch him?" Spain said. "Dear Romano could take care of him~" Spain did the: '*3*' face.

"I'm 'spoused to watch him. But I seriously don't care. He can get killed. I won't miss him. my brother will. But who cares?"

They shrugged and got into the car.

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><p><strong>FFFFFFF- I don't know what this was. I just felt like doing a reinactment of my childhood. xD<strong>

**My dearest brother told me about 'underground people'. And my neighbor who was crossedeyed was labeled the guy from 'lovely bones'.**

**Oh, and my sister eats all my cereal, so I have to call my dad. **

**And my mom was at work too. Soo...**

**Oh, and so this crack is: Germany, Prussia, and Italy all live in the same house XD**

**Germany is 23. Prussia is 19. and...Italy is 11. xD**

**I don't know why. I think someone spiked my slurpee I had. Ahwell. This was fun to write. *skips off to write another chapter* honhonhon~**


End file.
